Therapy gone wrong
by Kousetsu Rii
Summary: Inuyasha and the gang decide to work out their problems by going to some one on one therapy time...or so they think. You may even see some unexpected guest showing up. This story was made to laugh your face off! {Please R&R! }
1. Default Chapter

{Remeber to R&R !!!! }  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Therapy gone wrong !!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
" Morning Dr. Li , you have a session at five with two groups this time."  
  
"Sure just put in my box and I'll look at it during by lunch break ." The girl simply nodded and continued to type on her computer. Dr. Li was a well known therapist around the area. Like every other successful therapist , she went to a well known college and made top marks in everything. Sadly, college didn't prepare her for a group like this. After lunch, Li decided to sit down in her office area/study area to prepare for the arriving "guest". She began to ruffle through the papers her secretary gave her to get a good idea on what her clients would be like.  
  
" Hm.....Higurashi and Kamiya? I wonder why they decided to schedule at the same time?" Not taking it into account, Li shrugged it off and continued to placed some chairs around the mat in a circle. " What an easy day! The last clients for the day and I haven't been stressed once."  
  
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"INUYASHA!!! SITTT!!!" Kagome shouted out as she dragged Inuyasha down the concrete. " I'm missing another day of school for you once again and another failed test. You damn well are going to this !!"  
  
Inuyasha growled and whined as he was pulled by his ear towards the building. "Awww, Kagome! This is stupid ! I don't wanna blow my friggen time in this place. Besides, I don't need therapy! It isn't for everyone!!"  
  
"Oohhh you'll need therapy, back therapy if you don't get in this place ! I had to pay Two-hundred dollars for this! Good thing I actually had some money left over from that summer job. Look, we need help because this is getting out of hand!!"  
  
" So why do they have to come along? And why do we have to wear this stupid clothes?"Miroku and Sango trailed right behind them, holding hands, as they walked in the door.  
  
"Your clothes are in style now, before you would look too weird walking around like that. Besides, I like it so you do too!!!"  
  
Miroku snickered as Kagome scowled at Inuyasha "Too bad your relationship isn't like ours. Hm....Inuyasha, you need to be more of a one-woman, man."  
  
"Umm..hello? You're the lecherous monk, for gods sake !!" Inuyasha growled.  
  
"Hehehe yes, I'm good at what I do. Ain't I?"  
  
Sango looked over at Miroku and clenched her fist together. What was that?!  
  
"Nothing dear!".... 'Rule one, keep your mouth closed Miroku!! Man that was close.'  
  
The four walked into the building and signed their names in for their two hour session with the famous Dr. Li.  
  
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"Kenshin! Hold my hand, it'll be fun !Kaoru noted for some reason. Kenshin , Kaoru,Yahiko ,Sanosuke and Megumi walked down the parking lot towards the center.  
  
"Err....Kaoru, how did we get here in the first place? It doesn't look like we're in Japan anymore." Kenshin quivered as he held on to Kaoru's hand.  
  
"Well, I was walking one day trying to get some water out of this well and I couldn't get the bucket back up. So I decided to lean over and pull it up myself. I lost my grip and fell into the well and landed in this place. I asked around on how to get back and all they said was 'I need therapy in my condition'. I asked what that was and they told me a place where people work there problems out."  
  
"Oohh, I did thought it was kind of weird that we jumped through a well, but I suppose it makes sense now, that it does. Ah! So that's how you got that cut on your..."Kaoru placed her hands over Kenshin's mouth. "Um...what cut?? I see no cut!".. 'Shut the hell up Kenshin!!!' "Oh..right, sorry!!" Kenshin smiled and swung Kaoru's hand back and forth as they walked and smiled. " So...err....Sano. Why did you decided to come?"  
  
"Hell if I know. Yahiko told me to tag along. He said that he had a problem with me as well. Psh...I hate this stuff! They better not make me take a picture this time !"  
  
" Shut up! Nothing has happened yet!" Yahiko rolled his eyes and placed his hands behind his head as he walked.  
  
"Hm..this should be good! Drama for the day !"Megumi clapped and giggled "Don't mind me at all. I just here to watch and laugh!"  
  
Kaoru rolled her eyes and smiled "Look everyone, try to act normal. This a new place with new people so, nothing stupid!." Kaoru looked over at Kenshin and blinked "You know something dear?"  
  
"Hmm....?"  
  
"When I asked about what therapy was the man told me the answer then said to remember that 'Therapy wasn't for everyone'.How odd..?"  
  
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" Dr. Li ! Your five o'clock is here !"  
  
"Yes, thanks Mandy. I'll deal with it from here."  
  
The doctor ran down the hallway trying not to late this time for her session. "Stupid doctor meetings!! I'm going to be late!." She got on her phone and radio her secretary. "Mandy ! Stall them quick! I'll be there in ten minutes!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kenshin and the others signed in and sat down in the same room as Kagome and her crew.  
  
"Oh, I didn't know we were going to have company at our session Kenshin?" Kaoru asked as she looked at Kagome.  
  
"You don't." Kagome called out. "We have a meeting with doctor Li for five o'clock today."  
  
"You can't because we had a meeting for five today. Besides, we traveled a long way to get here."  
  
"So did we!!!!" Kagome shouted out, due to frustration.  
  
" Look, I bet if we shout and yell the doctor won't see any of us. So why not just share the meeting together." Sango added.  
  
"Sure, I'll do that, just as long as your boyfriend stops staring at me!" Kaoru glared at Miroku.  
  
Sango kicked Miroku in the shin " Good relationship..eh??!"   
  
"But..but..I was looking at the tag on her chest!!" Miroku smiled while being kicked to death. Kaoru and the gang sat down on the other seats as the doctor came running in.  
  
"Wow!! Sorry there people. Time for our session ! So let's make it quick, who wants to go first?" Kaoru raised her hand and stood up.  
  
"Um...heheh..my name is..umm..tehehhe"  
  
"Tell her your friggen name! Damn it !" Inuyasha grunted.  
  
" You shut up! I'm skilled in the art of the Ryu Kasshin style!"  
  
"Which means what? Like I care!"  
  
" It means I'm skilled in the art of kicking your ass!! Now hush before I get my Kenny on you!!"  
  
"Bring it on, woman!"  
  
"People!! PEOPLE!" The doctor yelled. "Now please finish ma'am"  
  
"My name is Kaoru Kamiya and this is my husband Kenshin Himura. We have been married for about a few months and problems have arose already." Kenshin sunk in his seat as Sano and Yahiko looking at him snickering.   
  
" Hm..having some trouble there Kenshin? Some 'bed failure'?" Sano asked.  
  
" Or maybe a malfunction perhaps?" Yahiko laughed out.  
  
Miroku looked over at Kenshin and became wide eyed 'Yessss!! I'm not the only one!'  
  
"Please continue, Mrs. Kamiya" the doctor ordered.  
  
" Before I met Kenshin, he was married to another young lady who died. Everything he does has been for and still has." Kaoru lowered her head and began to sniffle. Suddenly, Kagome jumped up and screamed out.  
  
"Ha! You too Kaoru ! Your lover is in love with a dead broad too! What the hell do guys see in dead woman? What! Do you enjoy the taste of dead meat!!!"  
  
"Miss, please calm down! Take a seat and wait your turn. Now Mrs. Kamiya, how do you feel when Kenshin does this to you?"  
  
" Mad, depressed, angry! Besides the fact that he ignores me, neglects me, and likes dead women, he wanders! He'll get up one morning and feel sorry for himself for leaving the old ways behind and want to travel. That pissed me off so much! I mean the Edo era is finishing and times have changed. He needs to pick his lazy ass up and start working to get some money! I'm the only woman in the house and I'm the only one working now!!"  
  
"Umm..Kaoru? Why do you live with three men again?"  
  
"THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!!" she yelled.  
  
"Uhh..riigghhtt. So let's see. Mr. Himura, please tell us why you do these things?"  
  
"Kaoru is my wife and the one I love with all my heart, but she can't be a pain in the ass at times! 'Oh Kenshin, hold my hand. Kenshin, brush my hair. Kenshin, take a bath with me."  
  
"Take a bath with you??" the others yelled out as they gave Kenshin and Kaoru a dirty stare. Miroku stood up with a raised hand and smiled "I will! I'll even throw in my lucky loofa!"  
  
The others looked at him and rolled their eyes. "What a freak." Kaoru muttered.  
  
"Mhmm...see! I'm not the only guy who gets dragged on a wild adventure all the time. This girl breaks the Shikon no tama and decides she wants to drag me with her on this hunt .In the end all I get is 'Inuyasha, you don't love me at all. Inuyasha, why do like this Kikyou girl?'Wanna know why? Because she doesn't bitch as much as you do, damn it !" Inuyasha cried out.  
  
Kagome gave him a nasty glare and coughed "-coughSit!cough-". Inuyasha faced planted in to the carpet and stood there for a few mintues.  
  
"Too bad that sorta thing doesn't work for Kenshin.." Kaoru added as she watched Kenshin sink in his chair.  
  
"Ok, Mr and Mrs. Himura, you need to take some time to sit down and enjoy each other company. Kenshin, no more past girlfriends and Kaoru , no more drama. Got that?" They both nodded and began to apologize to each other. "Ok, next case."  
  
Yahiko stood up and shouted "You see this bum next to me, he smells! I live with these four people but no matter how we slice it, I get stuck rooming with this bitch! When he gets home from his daily route, he smells like sake and old women and never takes that many showers! I hate living with a stinky bum it's not fair ! Kenshin get's to room with the hot girl and I'm stuck with the fish smelling bum."  
  
Miroku smiled and shouted "I agree. Kenshin your woman is pretty hot."  
  
Sango rolled her eyes and chocked him. "Anything in a skirt is hot to you!"  
  
"Hey! I told you not to talk about the time I went chasing anyone in a skirt. It was dark and I was drunk!!"   
  
The poor doctor started to laugh as she turned to Sano. "Why do you hate taking baths?"  
  
" Well when I was Zana the fighter, I didn't take as many baths. It's a hard transition!"  
  
"Deal with it! I sentence you to a bath once a day!"  
  
  
  
"Who remembers to take a bath every day?"  
  
"Umm..humans?"  
  
Inuyasha smiled and stood up "Na..! Doesn't apply to me !"  
  
Kagome laughed "We didn't expect you to anyways!". Feeling pride less, he sat down with his ears folded." Aww, my poor doggie."  
  
Megumi laughed and cackled in the corner "Too much fun for one day!"  
  
The doctor looked at Inuyasha and Kagome with a bright smile "Lemme guess. You fall for dead chicks, she bitches, you have no emotions and she's weak." They both nodded and smiled.  
  
"Wow your good! Can you help us??!"  
  
"Ohh..look at the time! Seven o'clock, our time is up. It was nice talking to you people but you really have to go and now!"  
  
Suddenly, a whirl of commotion was heard from outside the office. The doctor yelled out "Mandy is everything alright?" She didn't answer, but the arguing continued.  
  
" I demand to see the doctor now!!"  
  
"I'm sorry kid, but the doctor is out for the day."  
  
" I don't care !! I have a problem and it needs to be solved."  
  
The others in the room looked at each in confusion and began to listen to the two argue outside.  
  
"Look, the doctor is schedule for Higurashi and Kamiya for today. Please make an appointment for some other time."  
  
"Kamiya! I know them! Let me through!." The young kid pushed his way through Mandy and walked up to the doctor.   
  
"You!! Doctor Li! I have a problem!! And you better answer it."  
  
Kenshin and the others stood over, wide eyed at the kid "Soujiro??Here?"  
  
Kaoru and Kenshin looked at each other and blinked as they spoke as one " Umm..how did you get here Soujiro?"  
  
  
  
"None of your concern! I came here to talk to the doctor , and you guys can't stop me!!"  
  
"Umm..ok? Whatever..."  
  
The doctor swiped her hand down her face and tried to smile. "Ok you little -......I mean kid, what can I do for you?"  
  
" My name is Seta Soujiro and I am a member of the Juppon Gatana. The sword I carry is a Katana and I fight for a man name Shishio. I also like small short walks under cherry blossoms and..."  
  
"Look kid! I'm on a time block and I got stuff to do so, hurry up !!"  
  
"Fine you wench ! I work for this guy who - ..."  
  
  
  
"Lemme guess, he bitches a lot...right?"  
  
"Yeah...How did you know?"  
  
"I'm psychic, but go on."  
  
"Right, whatever. Anyways, everything is 'Soujiro, come do this for me. Soujiro, go kill those people I was too much of a pussy to do myself. Soujiro help me with this."  
  
"Why does he make you do all of this?"  
  
"Because he's disabled. Stupid man burnt himself while fighting now I do his work. I'm not his bitch!"  
  
Kenshin smirked as he grubbed down on some free candy " Yes you are. The man pretty much owns you."  
  
"Stop it !! I don't have a choice! He'll cut me if I don't listen to him. I even had to sneak out to get here today."   
  
"What about Yumi? Isn't that his latest slut?" Kenshin questioned.  
  
"That whore?..Psh, she uses him all the time!"  
  
"She can use me !" Miroku cried out as the others ignored him for the 50th time that day.  
  
" The worse thing is that he makes me changes his bandages every two weeks."  
  
"Awww, that's so sick." Sango yelled out  
  
" A little kid touching an older man? Sounds like another Michael Jackson story to me!" The doctor laughed out. As the other looked at her strangely. "Umm.... never mind. I found it funny!.."  
  
They all shook their heads and started to argue among each other. Doctor Li looked at her watch and smiled  
  
"Whoops! Sorry people, my time is up. Mandy has your bill outside!." The doctor ran out the room as others continued to ague within the place. The doctor walked to her car and opened the door."Finally, peace!!"  
  
Mandy came running behind her with three letters.  
  
"Doctor! These came for you in the mail !." The doctor opened the letters in her car all at once and read them out loud. "What's this Mandy?"  
  
" Mail from people who needs your help."  
  
"Great..just great." She began to read the letters as her car started up. 'Dear Doctor Li, my name is Sara and my brother is in love with me?'..What the hell? 'Dear Doctor Li, My name is Serena and my daughter from the future keeps bothering me?' Weird.. 'Dear Doctor Li, Hiei is my name, and my third is becoming a pain. Should I get Cosmetic surgery?' Ok Mandy...I give up. I quit!!." She threw the papers in the air and drove off leaving her secretary by herself.  
  
"Hmm..I guess therapy really isn't for isn't for everyone ." She shrugged and walked back inside.  
  
{The end} 


	2. Therapy gone wrong Session 2 : Miroku's ...

{ Remember to review!!If you do, I may even continue this a bit longer.}  
  
Therapy isn't for everyone!!-Session 2 : Miroku's commitment  
  
After one really weird long day of work, doctor Li decides to ahead home for a long relaxing bath. She headed down the normal route she took to get home without much stress.  
  
"Man, what a weird day!! I'm in shock! I can't believe people like that really do exist! A man with a third eye, a woman dating her brother. Ugh...I really have to quit my job!!"  
  
To calm the doctor's senses, she decided to put the radio on as she drove home. As she sang and laughed to the songs she enjoyed and loved, her cell phone began to ring and ring. She picked up the phone gently to look at the caller's id.  
  
"Mandy? Great, what does she want now?? As if I didn't have enough of a weird day." Quickly, she flipped her phone up and pressed the "talk"button. "Look Mandy, I'll get back to you later. I'm driving down the street and I can't talk, see ya later." Before Mandy could get a word in, the phone was shut off.  
  
The doctor arrived at her house moments later with a sigh of relief. " Mushi?? Mushi?" The doctor glanced around her house looking her faithful Beagle. The tiny dog came running up to the doctor with much amour. As soon as the doctor settled down, her home phone rang this time with Mandy on the other end. Li picked up the phone and began to yawn.  
  
"Yessssss , what now Mandy?" Inuyasha, Kenshin, and the others could be heard babbling in the back ground.  
  
"Doctor!! Great news for you! About that case with the people you just met with..well I heard that - " The doctor cut her words short.  
  
" What Mandy? What could be so important that would want to make me come back?!"   
  
The poor secretary sighed with a tired moan to her voice. " The government had sent a letter to you about two days ago. It says... " The nation federation of the treasury and uncommon illnesses has decided to award Dr. Li with the ' Ti-schen' approval for uncommon practice due to her health related experiences of the uncommon classification. Monetary compensation shall be doubled if the party and it's members wish to continue with this process!"  
  
"In other words, the government is willing to pay me a big check to cover up the mistake they couldn't do themself." The doctor smiled to herself and laughed while playing with her fingers on the couch. "So, how much are they talking for? A hundred more a year? No wait a Thousand!" She laughed on the couch as tears poured from her eyes.  
  
" Wow, even better! But only if you decide to take on every case like the one we saw today."  
  
"Ok shoot, I'll do it !"  
  
" Twenty-million a year"  
  
"Twenty-million!!! Are you kidding , girl !! Do you know who much dollars that is??!!!"  
  
" Uh...twenty-million dollars?".  
  
"Exactly!! You fax them right now stating that I'd be more then happy to do it !!"   
  
"But doctor! You may encounter a - "  
  
"Just do it !! " She hung up the phone on the poor Mandy as she jumped around the room. " Twenty-million to fix a bunch of crack heads!! Oohh !! I'm gunna be so rich !!" Though the deal was very tempting, she didn't know that the cases would be almost impossible to fix with this crew. Poor Mandy and Li would really be working for their money this time around.  
  
The next morning , the doctor woke up feeling much better then usual. The fact that being paid 20,000,000 was a huge thrill for her. She jumped into her car and raced over to work without much delay. "Bring it on you little ass holes! I bet the stupid government pays people to say they have three eyes and they fall in love with dead chicks!" She didn't care that she was speeding, twenty-million dollars could pay for a few tickets.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Please sign right here, sir. The doctor gets in at 8 am so your fairly early."  
  
Kenshin quivered as he took the pen in his right hand. He began to sign on the clip Mandy gave him. Many thoughts surrounded and clouded his judgment.  
  
" Mr. Himura , are you ok? Your hand is shaking and you seem a bit tense. I also noticed your wife wasn't here."  
  
  
  
He handed the clip board back to Mandy with a sad face on and a sigh " Sadly, my wife died."  
  
"Uh...I saw your wife yesterday , sir."  
  
"No! I mean sick. Tehehe, she got sick last night!" He began to chuckle like a mad school cheerleader on crack.  
  
"Last night?? Umm.." Mandy arched a brow as she took the board from him.  
  
" No!! Not like that!! We never can do that. I mean we choose not too, that doesn't mean that I'm bad at it. Wait..that's not what I mean!!...Argh!!!"  
  
" Sir, are you ok?"  
  
"Yes!! I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be??!!"  
  
" For one thing, your chuckling like a mad school cheerleader on crack! Besides, I shouldn't keep you from session. It's room number 225. Today you'll be with Mr. Miroku ,Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru." He nodded lightly then proceeded down the hallway.  
  
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" Ok you guys, our session starts once Mr.Himura gets here.". Poor Kenshin walks through the door looking a little lost.  
  
"Ah...Mr.Himura, nice to see you woke up this morning."  
  
" Wait! Miss. Mandy said that you weren't here..but..but!!"  
  
"Please, sit down. We only have so much time today," He sat down next to Sesshomaru looking at him as he clenched on to the hilt of his sword. They both eyed each other, matching move by move trying to not drop their guard down.  
  
" Ok people!! Miroku you will go first , seeing that you're the closest to me. 'I'm not sure if that's a good thing but I'm getting paid twenty-million dollars for it!!' .She muttered.  
  
"Ahem....well I don't really have a problem!! C'mon, I'm a great looking guy and all the girls fight over me."  
  
"Who are you kidding ! You can barely get Sango to stay in the same bed with you. In fact, me and Kagome pleaded for her to stay with you last night . Miroku, you are so on thin ice with her and every girl in the world. There are only two types of girls in this world for you. The ones who hate you and the ones you haven't met yet." Inuyasha growled at him.  
  
" Um..Miroku. Let's tackle this problem head to head. You obviously like women..right?"  
  
"Yes, of course! "  
  
"Well, Miroku there was that one time when.."  
  
"Shut up, Inu-baka !!"  
  
" Uh..Inuyasha, please no talking. Miroku, go on.."  
  
" Where was I......oh yeah ! Ok, so my woman skills have been a little rusty lately, but I'm still an attractive guy. I mean, who can refuse this !!!"  
  
Li rases her hand as the other men, but Sesshomaru, laughed. "I'm sorry about that."  
  
He looked around at the others laugh and giggle at Miroku's many lady problems. Sesshomaru had had enough of this. He wasn't even sure why someone would want to come to a place like this. "This is stupid !! You foolish humans!!" Inuyasha gave a nasty glare towards his direction. "And..half humans, sorry. There is no point in this study !! I have no purpose here!!"  
  
"You have no purpose anywhere, Sesshomaru." Inuyasha snarled.  
  
"You must love the taste of death upon your soul, Inuyasha"  
  
"Living with Kagome for a while does that to you."  
  
"Enough!!" Sesshomaru went running towards Inuyasha at full speed. "I'm tired of your sharp tongue!"  
  
"Bring it ! I'll take you down here !!"  
  
Once again, Li become frighten at the fact that they could destroy the whole building with one blow. " What to do, what to do??! Ah..!! Right!!" She pulled out a tape marked " The sit song" on the front of it. In a fast like motion, she jammed the tape into the player and pressed play. Suddenly , Kagome's voice came on screaming the word "SIT". Inuyasha face planted into the ground and was knocked out for sometime, as usual. Poor Sesshoumaru couldn't control his velocity and ended up tripping over Inuyasha's body. With such force, he went hurling into the wall behind them. Li jumped up and smiled."Now that's what I call team work !! Brothers can work together to get the job done." Inuyasha's eyes turned white and Sesshoumaru's feet hung out the wall. "Ahem,..please continue Miroku."  
  
  
  
  
  
" Ok, ok!! I need woman help!!! Please doctor help me !!"  
  
"Good, the first step to recovery is acceptance. Here's a great plan, the only way to cure this is to do some hands on work." She handed a brown bag to Kenshin and smiled. "Be a dear and put this on for me Kenshin."  
  
He shuffled through the bag and blinked all wide eyed. " Doctor, I can't do - "  
  
" Just do it ..now !!"  
  
" Or-ok !!" He ran with a fast like motion towards the bathroom.  
  
" Umm..what's going on?" Miroku become scared.  
  
"No worries, just a little test."  
  
"Uh...ok, I'll stay cool then."  
  
Kenshin walked out of the bathroom wearing a long dress and a pair of 4' heels. The dress was pretty clingy against his body, showing all his curves and features. He was hair let down as it curled around his back and waist. The purple pits in his eyes became lighter and soft. He spoke out in a soft feminine-ish voice , calling out to the doctor for her help. "Li, I don't know how to adjust this."  
  
Miroku's woman senses were tingling now. A beautiful woman walked before his eyes. He's never seen such beauty in his life. As Miroku stood up in a daze approaching the woman little by little as she talked to Li.  
  
"Kenshin!! You look like 'Arial' off of 'The little mermaid' . Wow, you make a nice woman!!!" She chuckled out loud as she watched Miroku approach him. Oddly enough, he didn't realize that Kenshin was this mysterious woman he set eyes upon. He bent down on one knee and kissed her..{err..I mean his!!} hand.  
  
"M'lady, you are more precious then the jewel of four souls. More beautiful then anyone else in the world."  
  
"WHAT??!! Oro??!! Do you know who your talking too??!!" He started to shake his hand away from Miroku's lips as his voice quivered.  
  
" Please tell me the name of the woman who has stolen my heart and taken away my breath."  
  
" Look!! This is....." Li began to shake her head around at Kenshin , in a no like motion. He whispered over to her "Why not??!!! Li !!!! "   
  
"Look at what he's doing ! He treating a woman right for once !! Just go along with Kenshin, please!!!"  
  
He rolled his eyes then sighed. "My name is Oblivia..'short of oblivious' ." He muttered.  
  
Miroku then stood up and wrapped his arms around Kenshin's waist " Ah..your so tiny and frail."   
  
"Wow, thanks, I think?"  
  
Slowly, his hands moved down until they grabbed his butt. "Ohh..so soft and sweet you are. Mmmm.."  
  
  
  
Kenshin jumped at the touch then pushed him back "Hey now !!"   
  
Li smiled as she prodded at Sesshoumaru's legs with her black ink pen " Wait Miroku, you gotta be easy with woman and sensitive as well. Try holding her hand and pouring her a drink? Perhaps?"  
  
"M'lady, please have a drink !"   
  
"Well, alright, but nothing funny!" Kenshin brushed a strand of hair from his eyes.  
  
He handed her the drink then smiled as he watched her drink it down. Kenshin wiped the reminding juice from his lips then sat back down.  
  
'Jeeze, he's more feminine than me !!' Li murmured   
  
" You know, your very dainty with your hands and legs. Perhaps they would be more of a use around me?"  
  
"Miroku!! You can't say thinks like that. Be sweet and soothly about it. Not so blunt and to the point. If you want to get in her pants, sweep her off her feet."  
  
  
  
Miroku sat next to Kenshin then took one of her hands hin his own. " Your eyes are so pretty. Please excuse my manners. I'm trying really hard."  
  
"It's ok, I understand how it could be for you."  
  
"How could someone create such an understanding creature?"  
  
"Well, when two people really like each other, this sorta rubbing action..- "  
  
"Kenshin, no!!!! " Li screamed out. "That's quite enough.."  
  
" Kiss me, for I am man and you are woman !" Miroku dove into Kenshin's lips smoothing his tongue around his teeth . Kenshin jumped up and pushed him back quickly.  
  
"Ewwwwwwww!! Li, you never said this would happen !! You dizzy fool, I'm Kenshin !!"   
  
Miroku looked at Li to get a different reaction from the event. "Nope, sorry Miroku, that's Kenshin alright. But look! You did so well with him. You can be a sweet man !"  
  
Miroku become furious as he looked at Kenshin's beauty. Some women couldn't compare to his work of art. "You mean to tell me I grabbed a man's ass?"  
  
"And liked it, I might add!" Kenshin yelled out as he touched his girlish figures.  
  
Miroku couldn't take anymore, he jumped on top of Kenshin in a split second pinning him down.  
  
"What are you trying to do with him??"  
  
"Look, he's so damn good looking, and I'm horney!! My body doesn't know the difference. Just close your eyes, and I'll close mine."  
  
"No...That's so wrong!! Your violating Kenshin!!"  
  
"I don't care , he rubbed me the right way!"  
  
"Li, help me !! You did this!!" Kenshin laid across the floor in pain.  
  
"Shut up ,bitch! It won't hurt that much, if you stop moving !"   
  
Once again, Li was faced with an difficult situation. "Great, sit doesn't work on him, walls neither. What else??"She looked down at the beads on his hand as Kenshin rolled around on him. "Kenshin!! Aim for the beads!"  
  
Without hesitation, Kenshin yanked a bead from around his thumb. "Gah!! Stop, you could die!!" Kenshin pushed him off of his body and rolled to safety. Li ran over to him and stroked his hair back.  
  
"Are you ok, Kenshin?"  
  
" No!! It's all your fault !"  
  
"It's not my fault your attractive !!"  
  
"I am?"  
  
  
  
"I guess so.."  
  
"Ha!! Kaoru was wrong !! I do look good in drag."  
  
Li shook her head then walked over to Miroku. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Dead.."  
  
"Good, what have we learned today?"  
  
" Gay men are strong as hell.."   
  
"No!"  
  
"Don't hit that spot, unless you see a slot?"  
  
"Good point, but no!!"  
  
"Kenshin makes a hott girl?"  
  
"Didn't you learn anything?? Your not suppose to be crude to woman !!"  
  
"I knew that already, it isn't anything new."  
  
" So why do you do it then?"  
  
"Because girls are turned on by it. It's so sexy and attractive."  
  
"Ugh...!!!!"  
  
{The end.../To be continued? } 


	3. Kenshin's drama

"G'morning Kaoru, what can we do for you today?" Mandy asked in a polite tone.  
  
" Ugh....I need to see the doctor, and quick!!"  
  
" Umm..ok. She's with Kagome in room 212. There just giggling and talking so don't mind them."  
  
Kaoru ran down the halls like a mad woman. "Hmm..I wonder what her problem is?"  
  
"Yeah, so then he saw me naked!."  
  
" Jeeze, what did you do then?"  
  
"Like what any girl would do, tell him to 'sit'"  
  
" Hahaha. You know your voice recorder came in handy for me. I didn't know the 'sit' word could do so much."  
  
"You'd be surprised."  
  
The two woman laughed and smiled as they drank tea and told odd stories. Suddenly, Kaoru opens the door screaming and yelling. "Doctor Li !!!"  
  
"Oh, Mrs. Kamiya. What can I do for you today?"  
  
"It's about Kenshin. He's decided to stop fighting, and I mean STOP FIGHTING."  
  
"Huh, what do you mean?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Ok, last night someone attacked our house looking for items of value. So to wake Kenshin up, I kicked his leg. He wouldn't get up!!"  
  
"Kenshin, and non-fighter? Naaa....I doubt that."  
  
"I'm telling the truth, doctor. So of course I had to take care of them with my own hands!"  
  
"I'm woman, hear me roar." Kagome joked.  
  
" Wow, that's odd. Have you tried asking him what the matter is?"  
  
" He said he wants to be........... a florist!!"  
  
" A FLORIST??!!" The two screamed. Kagome and Li looked at each other for a moment then laughed. Kagome fell on the ground and Li's chair tipped backwards.  
  
" I'm not kidding!!!! It's true!! He said " Kaoru, being a 'Florist' can sooth my pain, besides, my father was a farmer. And life has it's...."  
  
Kagome inched over to Li's ear and whispered to her while Kaoru was talking. "Did she just put florist in quotations with her hands."  
  
"Uh-huh, I saw it too!"  
  
"What a weirdo."  
  
"I agree."  
  
"ARE YOU TWO EVEN LISTENING TO ME??!!!"  
  
" Yes, you do pay me buy the hour, so I have no choice."  
  
"Anyways, what should I do?? I'm at a lost now. My poor Kenny is going to be...be...a flower man!!"  
  
" Well, it can't be that bad."  
  
"He talks to his plants and makes them special food mixes."  
  
" Ok, we have a problem now. Leave it to doctor Li for this one. But as for now, working hours are over. I really should go home and feed my dog. Ja ne Kagome and bene fortuna Kaoru. I'll see you two ladies tomorrow."  
  
The doctor walked towards her car grinning and laughing. "Psh....a florist. I'd kill my husband if that happened to me."  
  
The engine of the car roared as she pulled down the street. Heading home was normal, like always. She took her normal winding weird route home. When she arrived, she noticed the door to her garage open.  
  
"That's weird. I swear I closed the door once I left. Oh well, maybe I didn't."  
  
She walked through the door and placed her key through the tattered lock. As the door squeaked open, she found her house in the cleanest state it's ever been in.   
  
"Wow!! I've never seen my house like this. Even my dog is clean! Did someone order a maid? Heh, someone loves me. Psh...what's the point in complaining about how clean my house is?"  
  
Li headed upstairs and towards her bathroom. Like the rest of the house, it was as clean as can be. And to add, a bath was made for her.  
  
" Wow, I feel loved! Heheh...it's bath time !!!!"  
  
She unbuttoned her blouse and pushed her trousers down ( What? Did you want me to go in-depth? Sorry, I have to be payed extra for that. -Nods a bit- Ahem..back to the story.) . To test the temperature, her placed her big toe in the bubble-ish water.  
  
"Wow, 74 degrees .Perfect!!! But who could have done all of this? Oh well..."  
  
Without wasting time, she jumped in then and washed herself as usual. Minutes later, she jumped out of the tub and released the stopper.  
  
"Ah........so refreshing to the body." She yawned a bit then headed over to her bed room.  
  
"Jeeze, today has been a stress-free day. Guess I should hit the sack for the night."She placed her night clothes on then jumped on her bed. Something also seemed different about her bed. Never the less, she was tired so nothing bothered her."  
  
" G'night, bed room."  
  
The lights went off and Li fell fast asleep. She had an odd tendency to kick in her dreams and wiggle a lot, that was one of the reason she didn't have a boyfriend.  
  
"Kaoru, come closer..."  
  
Li opened her eyes and blinked her a second. "Kaoru? Kaoru Kamiya, my patient?"  
  
" Kaoru, I love you. Forgive me."  
  
She pulled the covers up and found Kenshin's red hair all around the place. " No wonder my house was so clean! Ugh...why do I have a feel it's going to be a long night?"  
  
He pulled at Li's mid-length brown hair as he caressed it between his neck and chest. "Kaoru, why'd you cut your hair? I loved it the way it was."  
  
" Grrrrr....you idiot !! Wake up !" She threw a pillow at him, hoping he would wake up. " Jeeze, when did samurai man become heavy sleepers ?"  
  
Kenshin inched closer and wrapped his legs around Li small frame. " Kaoru, stop playing hard to get. Now come closer and lets have some fun.."  
  
Li's eyes widened as she screamed for help. "How could he have known I lived here? Must have been Inuyasha ! He knows my scent and sniffed me out ! Is Kenshin trying to hide from Kaoru? Is that why he's here?! Grrr...INUYAHSA, YOU IDIOT!!! AHHHHHHHHHH !!"  
  
{ To be continued}  
  
Ja ne (Jap.) See ya  
  
Bene fortuna (Latin) Good luck  
  
Quick note { For all my grammar freaks out there, typos don't hurt. I got a stupid message the other day for typing the name "Kenshin" incorrect. One word out of the two-thousand I type you catch. Hmm...let's see.....GET A LIFE! Pencils are made with erasers because people make mistakes. Jebus....just had to get that off my chest. As for the rest of my story, I'll finish the ending by the end of Friday. Well.....Ja ne! Oni-li 


	4. Kenshin's drama Part 2

With a swift kick, Kenshin's body was on the ground.

"Now, are you awake?"

"Huh? Miss.Li? What.....huh? Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I was in your room cleaning and I fell asleep on your bed. It got a bit cold, so I went under the covers."

"Uh...what were you doing in my bed in the first place? Wait....why the hell are you in my house?"

"Umm...hiding from Kaoru. She thinks I'm nuts for loving flowers, so I had to escape before she made me fight all of Japan to prove my worth. Inuyasha agreed to take me to your house, seeing that he could smell you out and you were the only one we knew."

"I'm going to kill that little dog."

"Please, don't be mad at him. It was my fault and I did ask him to take me here. I just couldn't bare to see Kaoru mad. Even if she does complain, I care for her so."

"Yeah, and Tomoe as well" , she slanted her eyes.

"Mmm...Tomoe. She had such a cute walk. Just the way her hair would curl around her butt was enough to make me want to....wait...HEY! You weren't suppose to remind me, doctor!!"

Li chuckled with a smile. " Wow, you never talk about Kaoru's butt action? Alright...alright. Sorry, it was too easy."

He nodded with a worried tone. "What about Kaoru? What to do now?"

"Well...Kaoru is worried sick about you . In the morning, we should go and see her right away." 

The night faded into day and it was time to face Kaoru. Li ran though the door in a quick manner.  
"Mandy, make sure when Kaoru gets here to call me on my cell. Give her a seat and make her comfy."

"But doctor?" Mandy called out. "You have a new meeting today with Inuyasha's brother, Jaken, and someone named Rin."

"Oh, just great. Um...push them all back a day. I have enough of a problem today." She ran down the halls screaming "KENSHIN!!! Where are you ?!? You red-headed freak!". There Kenshin was, looking up at a huge picture of a waterdrop. Li finally arrived, almost tackling Kenshin upon meeting him. "Ahhh! I found you! Come, Mr.Himura, I'm sure Mandy has found Kaoru by now."

"Miss.Li, what is that exactly?" He looked like a confused child while staring at the picture.

"It's a photographic raindrop. In this world, people are able to cure and create things of the unknown. Because of the past, you guys, the future is created. Now..it's time to make a new future. C'mon let's go see Kaoru. Nodding once again, he followed Li into the room Kaoru was. With excitement, Kaoru jumped to her feet and over to Kenshin's frame.

"Oh!! Kenshin! I was so worried about you!!"

He chuckled lightly, "No..no, really I was ok. Last night I slept with Li, safe and sound."

"You what?!?!"

"Slept with Li". Li waved her hands around in a frantic way, trying to get Kenshin to shut up. "I was in her bed with her. Everything was just fine."

"You mean to tell me you were in another woman's bed?!? Sleeping with another woman?  
Having her curl her body around yours in the middle of the night?!?!"

"Yes."

"KENSHIN!!!!!!!"

" But we know Dr.Li, she isn't a stranger."

"You're missing the point" Li quivered with fear from Kaoru's voice.

" Doctor! I can't believe you were with my husband in the middle of the night and didn't even think of returning him to me!!"

" It's not what you think...I- "

" I can't believe you, you slut!"

"But..but..Kao- ...what did you call me?"

"You heard me! Messing with my husband! I can't believe you. What's wrong, they don't pay you enough that you have to slut your way into messing with your customers?"

" Listen here, you paranoid bitch. I was merely helping your husband by giving him a place to stay, seeing that I met him at night. He's so scared at the fact that you're so judgmental about him that he ran away. How could you actually drive someone away and not trust them at the same time. I might be wrong but this is ludicrous!"

Suddenly, Mandy turns down the radio. "Wow, I didn't know you liked Rap? Heck, I didn't know you knew this rapper. This song is my fav-"

"Shut up, Mandy! I'm not talking about the rapper. I'm trying to work out a problem here."

"No, doctor. It's not fair. By now, Kaoru should know that I care for her and her alone. If she can't trust me, then what's the point?"

"Mhmm...I agree, Kenshin. I have been acting horrid towards you. I feel bad, please forgive me. I understand now, no matter what you want to do, you should do it. I will be with you 100 from now on. I mean, me not trusting you....it makes me want to put my fingers into my eyes."

Again, Mandy turns the radio down. " You know....that song is sooo cool as well! 'I put my fingers into my eeeeyyyyeeessss...',I mean...just the way he says it is just.." The others begin to stare at her once again, slanting their eyes. " Umm..I'll shut up now." She fades into the background doing paperwork.

"Thanks, dono. But I really don't want to be a florist. My father was a farmer, so I just thought having a few plants in the house would brighten things up. Talking about plants, we should get home. I need to water the plants. Thanks doctor for everything. Ciao" The couple began to walk through the door, hand in hand smiling.

"Doctor, what ever happened to your bed sheets? Mandy asked puzzled.

"I had to throw them out of course."

"Why?"

"Hello?! He had a dream about Kaoru in my bed. Besides, there was to much red hair everywhere. He was shedding, looking like a dog slept in there. LIKE INUYASHA......DOGS.....UGH!"

"Passion stains, red hair, Inuyasha, sounds like love to me." Mandy smiled

"Oh, shuddup."

To be continued  
Next time- Mr.Fluffeh has woman problems....err...kinda. Such a good looking guy can't be forsaken, right? Can Li actually help him? Will Inuyasha get his punishment? What will happen? How much trouble can they cause this time? 


	5. A little bit of love, Sesshoumaru stlye

" YYYaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooo!" Li waved her hands about, before heading over to Mandy's desk. 

"Something seems to have you bouncy today, doctor."

" Why of course! It's a brand new day!"

"And Inuyasha comes by for today's meeting" Mandy slanted her eyes while looking towards the doctor.

"Shhhhh...! So what, it's the main objective. That doesn't mean you run your big ass mouth !! Just send the guest to room 297." Li walked off, clenching her fist in a mad like way towards 297.

"Look, master. Why are we here? I'm sure there are better things to do, M'lord."

"Be quiet , Jaken! I hear they had fun at these things. That day that I got lost, I heard Kagome talking about how much fun it was!" Rin exclaimed.

"Then why does Inuyasha have to come?"

"Because, I'm the only one that knows the way, stupid ass."

"Funny, you never do stuff like this. Has the great Inuyasha become soft? Hmm..?"

" Don't make me squash you like the green turd you are! Kagome made me come after Sesshoumaru asked her. Wait....why the hell would you ask Kagome to do this anyways?"

"That's none of your business." The proud demon exclaimed, while tilting his head up to the sky. His long flowing locks began to caress around his elvish ears and thin like arms. With a flick of his gently sculptured digits, the strands began to flow against the wind's current. ( Alright...alright...moving on.)

"Heh...so when did you actually give a man about humans? Funny how this one controls you."

"Again, none of your business."

"Lord Sesshoumaru , what's he talking about?"

"Pay no mind, Rin. Let's go."

"Oh my god! This is too funny !! The great demon listens to human child like a little bitch, and you say I'm bad? At least Kagome is pretty much fully grown, you take orders from a child. Hahahaha! They should call you 'Lord Pussyness'." Inuyasha's laughs grew louder and louder, as the 4 walked toward the office building. Although Sesshoumaru was pissed about such attacks made about him, he payed no mind. Again, Rin began to tug on his fur.

"Hey, what's a 'Pussyness' Lord Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha cried out with laughter wanted to know what the demon would say.

He scratched the side of his face before giving an answer. " Rin, it's a great flower that blooms in all it's glory. Each time a female is born, that flower does as well."

Inuyasha slanted his eyes at the comment . "I'll tell you what it is. It's a gift."

"A gift?" Rin and Sesshoumaru asked.

" Yeah, and with it you have the power to rule the world. Men beckon at your every call and-"

"That'll be enough, Inuyasha" Sesshoumaru's eyes grew red as they walked through the office door .The gumi made their way over to the front desk, looking for the doctor. Mandy pointed them to the room 297 where Li had a station set up. The group came wandering in to find the doctor waiting on a chair for the others.

"Welcome! Welcome! Please have a seat! Let's see.., Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru. . You two seem to be fairing well as usual." The 2 brothers looked at each other before turning away once again. " And this must be Rin, such a cutie! How did you get caught up with such annoying men?"

"Well...when Lord Sesshoumaru brought me to life again, he took me with him."

Li gave a blank look towards Rin. " Yeeeeaaaah....anyways you seem to be missing a member? I don't see a 'Jay-keen'."

" I'm over here!" Cried out a little voice. Looking around for a bit, she finally found him." Yes, me! I'm Jaken, not Jaykeen"

" Oh my god!" She cried out.

"Yes, I know. You humans aren't use to seeing creatures like myself. Allow me to explain. You see, I am a-"

" IT'S KERMIT, KERMIT THE FROG!! DUDE! THIS IS SO GREAT! I LOVED YOU ON BIG BIRD'S SHOW!"

"Kermit the-" His sentence was cut short before he could finish.

"Where is Miss. Piggy?! Wait....don't tell me you're a poor version of him? Why do you have clothes on? And what's the stick for? And where's your strings? Shouldn't there be a hand in your ass if you're a puppet?"

" I'm not a fake or a puppet! I'm Jaken , you worthless human!"

"Oh....see I thought you were something important. Anyways, take a seat so we can begin." The 4 sat down in a neat circle around the doctor. "Alright, what's the problem?"

"I'll talk!" Said Rin. " I know Lord Sesshoumaru is a great person but I know he could be happier. At nights, sometimes I see him crying. He doesn't make any noise, but tears fall from his eyes. He looks so lonely sometimes, even if he doesn't talk about it to us. I just think he needs to find company. That's why I thought you could help."

"Me? What can I do?"

"Talk to him, no one else could get though to him." "Yeah, I work with demons like him everyday...psh.... What's on your mind, Sesshoumaru ?" "I have no clue what has gotten into you , Rin. Why would you think of such a thing? I'm quite alright with the way things are. And.....I don't cry in my sleep."

"But..Lord Sesshoumaru, I want to make you happy. Please give her a chance."

The young demon nodded as Inuyasha made a whip cracking noise with his mouth snickering and laughing could also be heard.

"Inuyasha hush! I'm trying to do my job here! Sesshoumaru if you did want company, what would she be like?"

"Honestly, I would never think of such a thing. For anyone to walk among me, she would have to have powers that only the Shikon could emit, hair long as a stream of locks, and the strength of two demons combined."

"Umm...yeah, whatever. Try something realistic. Woman aren't built to be as strong as demons. Well....unless they're a demon themself."

"I would never bother myself with a human."

"C'mon. Human women are very interesting."

"I have no time or desire to listen to this foolishness." The demon said while standing up. Slowly, Rin's tiny hands curled around his clothing.

"Please....." she begged in her tiny voice, allowing a tear to fall from her left eye. He sighed softly and sat back down.

" Oki!" Li called out. " Now do you even want company, honestly?"

"I wouldn't pay any mind to her, however, it wouldn't trouble me in the same sense."

"Hn.....do you even know how to attract the other gender?"

"Usually, most meeting happen when a woman is chased or threaten."

"Threaten a woman for attention?! What kinda idiot would do that? What a stupid idea."

Inuyasha turned his head away, sulking and blushing at the same time."D-don't look at me....Psh....stupid doctor."

"Here, let's try this. Pretend I'm an attractive demon or human you would like to approach. How would you do it?"

He stood up from his seat to approach the doctor. Looking at her with his narrow sharp orbs, he said.... "You are the one I've chosen to be my mate. Come with me, we shall leave now."

The doctor slapped him in the face with her notebook. "Don't be too brash and high strong! You should be a little more charming! Sweep her off her feet, treat her sweetly. Think of a Haiku, Sweetly flowing."

"I don't write nor read any types of a Haiku." He began to rub his cheek from the hit.

"Ugh...this will take some time. Until then, watch other men to get an idea on what to do." She handed him a pen and notebook. "Here, write and record things you see other couples do. Our time is up for today. However, I will need to see you for some check ups. You guys have a great day and thank Kagome. She payed for today's session, along with the government. She told me to tell you guys that you really needed some together time and this was her little present to you guys."

"Oh....how nice of her to do that....pffft! She better pay! Dragging me all the way out here to help Mr. Fluffy find true love." He began to eye his forehead. " And what the hell is that moon on your head for? Hanging out with those damn sailor scouts again? Ugh...all this love is pissing me off! I say he dates the little brat! Then again, green shortie here will get mad, aren't you like his bitch or something? I swear every main character has to have one. This is so stupid, I'm going home. Lets go.."Sesshoumaru nodded slightly in reply to the 'going home' concept. They all walked out the room talking and nodding.

" Oh right. Talking about 'stupid', it was also very stupid of you to sneak Kenshin into my room a week ago. Well as they say ' an eye for an eye and a nose for a nose'. Since you can't handle yours, I'll cut it off!" Li ran after him with a knife.

"Ahhh!! W-we can talk about this!"

"No..! I'm done talking. Time to cut!" She went running after him down the hall.

" Oh? He's not here? Poo, thought I could find him around this place. Someone talked about the well and.....oh well. Thanks for the help anyways! Ja !"Souji Okita waved to Mandy while holding Saizo in hand "Come on Saizo let's look for Saitou somewhere else." He went off humming.

"Come back! You son of a bitch!"

"Huh?! My mother wasn't even a dog. It was my father! Ahhhhh!" He kept running.

"I don't mean literally, you Jackass."

" But I'm not even a donkey!" "Ughhh! You're such a dork!"

"But..I'm not even a-"

"Don't you even say it!" they bolted off again . Suddenly, a 'BOOM' could be heard as Li slammed into Okita, causing them to both fall to the ground. "I-I'm so sorry!" Saizo went flying threw the air as they fell. "There ...gotcha!" she raised her arms to catch the pig. "There you go.....wait a second!!" She raised and examined it again. " You're...you're..you're ..MISS PIGGY! I just saw Kermit! This is too awesome!" The annoyed pig made a loud noise as he started to chase her. "Waaahhh! I was kidding!"

"Oh no!! Come back, Saizo." Okita darted after him as Inuyasha kept running in the opposite direction. (What an idiot.)

"You better stop your pig, miss. Before I kick it like a football!"

"I'm a guy!"

" No you're not. You look like a girl."

"I have guy parts and functions. I'm a guy!" He started to pant from running.

"If you want to keep them, you better stop this hog!!! Ahhhhh!!!"

To be continued  
Next time- Miroku and Sesshoumaru exchange woman ideas as the others learn to play football. Kaoru, Okita, Kenshin, Sango, Miroku, Sesshoumaru, and Jakenare back along with two new guest- Kikyou and Naraku. Who will win? You know trouble will happen. 2 girly men, 2 tomboys, an evil demon, some dead chick, the silent cute guy, and poor doctor Li. Big surprises and laughs to come!


End file.
